Finding Something Better
by glitterscarves
Summary: Neville and Draco are forced together, hoping they will manage to help each other survive. They do much more. NL/DM MPREG.
1. Chapter 1

**Finding Something Better.**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Harry Potter or anything else that you recognise. I do on the other hand own the plot.**

**Warnings: MPREG. Do not read if you do not like. And slash but that is obvious now lol.**

* * *

It was late when Lupin quietly shook me awake and urged me to dress.

At first panic sprang inside me, my heart thumping loudly in my ears as I vividly remembered the night he and Tonks pulled me from my grandmother's house only to watch seconds later as it burst into flames.

This time though, his actions seemed more controlled. There was not an ounce of fear betraying him, not the slightest hint of concern in his movements.

I uneasily shuffled down the stairs after him, following like an obedient dog into the living room.

There stood Mr Weasley and Tonks in their nightclothes but wide-awake and appearing prepared for any eventuality. To their right was Snape, poised and calm as always and contempt flowing from him in waves. Everyone looked as they always did.

Then I caught sight of a flash of platinum blond hair and was confronted by an almost unrecognisable Draco Malfoy.

He had always been slender but now there was nothing to him but skin thinly stretched over exposed bones. Normally, his grey eyes would be lit with superiority but now they were rimmed with black and completely dull. All in all he looked like dead.

"Neville, how much do you know about what happened before the summer?"

I explained roughly the facts I knew, the fact that Malfoy had been ordered to kill the already terminally ill Professor Dumbledore and that Snape had done the deed for him.

Mr Weasley calmly continued the story, highlighting that after his failings Malfoy had been disgraced and was now in as much danger as all of us stuck here in this decrepit house.

My personality was nowhere near bad natured but I could not help but think what on earth Malfoy's current situation had to do with me. Appearing to sense my confusion Lupin took another hold of my shoulder.

"Neville, we would like you to see over Draco for a while. You will need to share a room with him anyway as there is no where else for him to go but we think it would be beneficial to both of you to have someone to talk to."

Clearly, my reluctance to be overly social and take part in the games around the house had not gone unnoticed, as I had assumed.

"Okay," I said quietly,

As though he were an unsure child and not a shaken young man, Snape gave Draco an unsightly nudge in my direction. I expected a sarcastic comment snapped behind him, not for Draco to blindly walk towards me and take his place next to me. His face still completely clean of any emotion.

"Perhaps you should take him upstairs and show him your room," Mr Weasley suggested but I could sense it was more of an order.

Lupin smiled at me slightly and I gave him my best attempt in reply.

In our shared room Malfoy continued much in the same way, his face blank and cold. He moved delicately, as though he were frightened of any consequent reaction of his actions.

His things were piled messily at the end of his bed. I could not help but imagine the way the normal Draco Malfoy would have acted to see his possessions so poorly treated. But the new Draco just seemed to accept anything that came his way.

"I'm gonna turn off the light. So get your night stuff ready and we can undress and go to bed right?"

He did not reply but did what I asked and pulled a pair of black silken pyjamas from a battered holdall. They looked completely out of place compared to the dirty, dull robes he wore right now.

"Ready?"

He nodded and I turned the light off.

I could hear the shuffling of his feet and the quiet sound of fabric moving then finally a deep creak as he lay on the bed.

Ten minutes later I heard the familiar sound of tears, futilely muffled by a pillow.

* * *

When I woke the next morning he was not there. Not that I really thought he would be.

I showered and dressed then decided I would try to hunt him down.

After a quick scour of the house I could not locate him so I opted to have breakfast, then continue my mission.

Before I really had the chance to even think about eating Harry, Hermione and Ron cornered me in the hall, demanding answers. I gave them the barest of suggestions, just really hinting at Malfoy's reasons for being here. The glorified expressions on Harry's and Ron's faces worried me, I would not allow them this twisted victory by even skirting over the edge of Draco's apparent brokenness.

When I managed to make it clear I had nothing left to offer I snuck away, once again searching for Malfoy.

Once I had exhausted the places inside, I slipped outside while trying to be as discreet as possible.

The house had a sparse, messy garden that we were told to avoid. It was not warded as heavily as the rest of the house and if you were not careful, you could be spotted and the Death Eaters had taken to simply flying over well known cities just trying to catch sight of suspected Order members unaware.

To give him his dues, Malfoy was well covered by a tall hedge at the bottom of the garden. The only thing that betrayed his hiding place was a hint of his blond hair in the mass of deep green.

I settled in beside him and he did not turn to look at me, once again he continued to simply stare. He was functioning but that seemed to the extent of his human characteristics.

"You're probably not meant to be out here."

I didn't expect a reply.

The rain began after we had been huddled under the branches for a while but he made no move to leave. Soon enough the water ran through the gaps in the foliage and dripped over our heads and down our bodies.

He did not make a move to leave his poor shelter and neither did I.

* * *

At dinner every set of eyes belonging to anyone under the age of twenty-five seemed determined to linger over Malfoy for far too long. He was uncomfortable and would wriggle in his seat frequently and barely any food made the journey from his plate to his mouth.

In what I hoped was a warming gesture, I awkwardly patted his knee a few times under the table. He turned and gave me an odd look that was not quite happy and not quite angry.

* * *

Over the next weeks things would pass much the same way, we would spend our days in complete silence together in odd hiding places away from anyone else, we would sit together at meals and every night I would lie awake and listen to his sobs.

One afternoon, while sitting in the library and reading Lupin asked that Draco go with him so they could talk. He shot me a confused look but I knew less about what was happening with the Order than he did. I watched him go, trying to ignore the burning in my chest that prayed he would come back.

He was absent at dinner and did not reappear during the evening. Lupin was also missing. I stayed up and wandering about as late as I could without making it obvious I was waiting from him but eventually I retired back to our room.

I woke the next morning, relieved and surprised to find him leaning against the window sill with his head sticking out of it.

"What happened to you last night?"

"I needed to help with some wards and stuff."

"Wards?"

"Yeah, I can bring them down because…"

He stopped but I knew what he meant.

"Do you want to get breakfast?"

"Not really," he replied.

"Me neither."

I went to stand beside him, placing my hand over his on the windowsill while I looked over the back of the thousands of houses on the horizon.

* * *

Things continued in the same way as they had been for a few weeks until one day he vanished again. I considered asking someone where he was but decided against it, knowing deep down inside exactly what he was.

I distracted myself with reading and rereading my schoolbooks from the year previous and practising all the spells I had failed at.

This continued happening for over six months and every so often, we would share rushed kisses and gentle touches but it never seemed to amount to anything and often he would disappear again.

He never shared the details of these missions and I never asked but I often wondered where the new scars I would catch when I sneakily watched him undress came from…

After two weeks without Draco, I woke in the night to him stumbling in the room. He cursed when he hit his shin against the end of my bed and the sound echoed.

"Draco?" I called into the dark.

"Sorry I woke you."

I pushed the covers down over my legs and walked to flick the light switch.

His cheeks were flushed a dusky pink colour and his eyes sparkled slightly and although his robes were torn and there was dried blood clotted at his knee he looked healthier than I had seen him in months, he looked alive.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Are you hurt?"

"All healed now."

Silence descended but it was not our normal, welcoming quiet. It sang of words unspoken and actions just waiting to be committed and the sensation burned under my skin.

I hovered over asking if it was okay, if it was allowed but the words seemed so difficult to form when I could just act, when I could just take the chance.

With a determination I did not believe I could possess I strode across the room, took his heated cheeks in my hands and smashed our lips together.

In my hazed mind it seemed entirely natural for him to react with an equal fever and from his tongue to slip into my mouth while his hands wandered under my pyjamas top and his fingertips stroked over my chest.

It was the correct course of action when I pulled away to tear his robes from his body only to seal over lips together again as he hurriedly fumbled with the buttons stopping our skin from touching.

"Take care of your trousers, I'll get mine," he whispered in my ear as undid his belt and I slipped my pyjama bottoms over my hips.

"My bed," he said, his voice adopting a huskier note.

I did as instructed; once again delighting in the ease it seemed to leave me at.

One second of awkwardness hit me when he stood at the end of his bed, towering over me with his face pink and his eyes glazed. Slowly, his tongue trailed over his bottom lip as he appeared to drink me in.

"God, you're gorgeous," he said gently much to my embarrassment.

He smiled slightly, knowing exactly what caused my skin to flush and lay beside me. Barely touching me as I felt electric pulses run under my skin at his closeness.

Suddenly I grabbed him and pulled him close to me, surprised by my rashness but relishing the results, as his smile grew more feral and his lips covered mine again with renewed vigour and passion.

Amongst the flourishes of warm kisses his hand danced down my chest and over my arms, until finally it took grip of my erection. I gasped but he hungrily swallowed the sound and lazily moved his hand up and down.

This was much better than my own shy adventures under the blankets and by the width of his grin he knew this too. Much to my dismay with one languid stroke he moved his hand away but then his lips sealed onto my neck and he freckled kisses all down my chest.

Lowered and lowered his kisses travelled until just at the bottom of my belly button he ran his tongue back up the bottom of my neck and began his journey downwards.

My breath was harsh was excitement and I felt on the edge of explosion as he continued to tease me, blatantly ignoring exactly where I needed his touch.

"Draco…please," I mumbled.

Gently, his hand reached out for my face and he cupped my cheek. Kissing me softly on the lips, he whispered, "What do you want Neville?"

I did not think I could form the words but his lips on my skin and the warm jets of his breath were causing my chest to tighten in need…

"Suck me…" I whispered, embarrassed by the words but almost delirious with need.

He licked from the top of my neck downwards again but this time he did not venture back upwards but lapped delicately at my erection.

Then he took me into his mouth and while his tongue did delicious motions over me he sucked lazily and it was so perfect and hot and wet and I was gonna just…

He swallowed every drop ravenously and curled himself around me as I sank into a boneless exhaustion. I turned around so we were face to face and kissed him again, his mouth still having the after taste of me but I ignored it for the more enticing flavours of Draco.

"What would you like me to do?" I said softly, nervously skirting my palm over the tip of his erection.

"I would love to be inside you," he said. "But only if you think you are ready…"

The idea filled me with an unusual but pleasant feeling, as though someone were shooting a warm, fragrant liquid through my veins…

"I'd love to but…I don't have anything…"

"I have an idea, wait here. May I borrow your pjs?" he said.

I nodded and he pulled them on and with a shy wink, he ran downstairs.

After a few seconds, fear suddenly flooded through me as I realised something. What if he was just kidding, what if I was another pleasant distraction from his reality. Broken Draco was perhaps just looking for an outlet for bastard Draco, what if I was a device to release pent up frustrations into.

He came back in, a shy smile across his features as he clasped something rather expected in his hands.

"Butter?"

"It'll work okay?" he said as he hastily pulled the clothes from his body again and settled beside me.

Forgetting my thoughts in the seconds before he came back, I allowed his kisses to smother me and his touches to excite me again without any worries about the consequences.

"Ready?" he murmured into my ear.

I nodded, panic flooding me. He could sense my apprehension and pulled me into him.

"We don't have to…"

"I want to, please."

There must have been a firmness in my voice which allowed him to continue for he coated his fingers in an excessive amount of butter and with his other hand pulled me to him. More heavenly kisses allowed me to momentarily ignore the finger which stroked over my entrance but when it pushed inside I was caught by surprise.

"Shush. You alright?"

"Yeah, just got a fright."

He smiled and continued to prepare me. By the time he was at three fingers I was a cursing mass of longing.

"Now…Please…Now," I said, my tone surprisingly forceful considering the effort it took the string the syllables together.

"If you are sure…"

Coating himself in the pale yellow butter he pushed inside me. Once fully consumed by me, he panted heavily by my ear as he supported himself on his hands, either side of my head.

After adjusting, I urged him to move with the heel of my left foot and that's exactly what he did.

His rhythm was at moments slightly erratic and it only decreased in fluidity the closer he approached the edge but it was perfect. Every time he nudged something inside me, planets and stars exploded behind my eyes and the world just seemed so wonderful.

"I'm close…" he murmured, more to justify his hurried movements than anything else.

And then it hit again. And with a strangled cry Draco slumped on me, his breathing harsh and laboured.

After a while, he pulled out and lay beside me. Weakly he sat up and pulled the blankets from under our limp bodies and cuddled into me under them.

"Neville?"

"Yeah…" I mumbled, just trying to keep my eyes open.

"I need to go away again tomorrow but this was wonderful and when I come back…we can talk okay?"

"Yeah…"

A pause.

"And Neville?"

" Yeah.."

"I know you were doing what you were told…but it was nice to have you around…"

* * *

The next morning I woke, naked and alone but still reeling from the night before. If I closed my eyes tightly, I could almost feel the alien tingle into the tips of my toes and fingers. My eyelids were painted with his face as he moved above me and my ears could still hear the soft ring of his tamed moans.

I continued to hide my developing passion for Draco and just pass the time by reading.

And then, three months after Draco had gone away, I woke up feeling incredibly nauseous and hurried to the toilet. Emptying my guts into it, Hermione came up behind me.

"Neville are you alright?" she said warmly.

"I think so…"

"I know that was a stupid question…"

"It's fine…"

And it happened again, in fact it happened every day that week and the next. Hermione was concerned and this led her to telling my dilemma to Mrs Weasley who looked at me funnily and told me to let Madam Pomfrey look me over.

She did so and then gave me the same odd expression. Without explaining why, she left me alone in the parlour and came back with Mrs Weasley.

"Neville dear, have you been…having intercourse…with another boy?"

"What?" I exclained, wondering if the crimson colour my skin was adopting was giving any indication of my actions…

"Have you had sex with another man Mr Longbottom?" Madam Pomfrey said, quite simply.

"Yes…" I mumbled.

"Who was it? One of my boys?" Mrs Weasley interjected, her face flushing.

"No…It was…Malfoy."

Mrs Weasley looked thoroughly relieved.

"And you did not…think about using contraceptive spells?"

"Why would I? I mean we are men…"

"Yes but it's not unheard of for men to get pregnant Mr Longbottom…"

I looked at her...She was trying to tell me something...

"Am I…Preg…"

"Yes Mr Longbottom…"

"No! I can't be. It only happens if you are really powerful or love one another…This is crazy."

"Although it is rare Mr Longbottom you cannot deny the facts…"

"But I can't be…"

I fell to the ground in a mass of skin, unsure what to do what to say. But just praying I would wake up warm in my old bed in my grandmother's house...far away from this...

* * *

**This is almost an adventure to me, never tried to write anything like this before.**

**Anyways, thanks for getting this far. **

**I would LOVE reviews, they cheer me up no end. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Finding Something Better**

**Warnings: MPREG and slash.**

**Disclaimer: Check first chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 2

Everyone knew. That much was obvious by the lingering glances focused on my stomach.

Normally anything of the slightest interest that happened in the house would fascinate it's residents until the next cause of excitement came along but everyone seemed reluctant to even mention it. Barely anyone talked about it and mostly they appeared to just ignore me.

I didn't really have anything to say to anyone either.

After a painful conversation with Mrs Weasley, I had decided there really was no other option besides going ahead with it.

Most of the time I tried to just forget about it.

But deep inside, burrowed under the worries was an unusual sense of joy. For the first time in my existence I would be able to make a difference in my own life, I could dictate my future and the future of my child.

The only thing that remained hazy was Draco.

In all honesty, I knew very little of his thoughts about the world and his hopes for the future. I could not judge his reaction fairly but knowingly I prepared myself for the worst when he came back…If he ever did.

Too soon it was approaching four months since Draco had left and bulge under my shirt was becoming more and more noticeable. The longer he was away, the more nourishment my fear received until it was a burgeoning monster consuming my thoughts.

After a day of being gazed at as though I were some great, undeterminable wonder of the universe I decided to go to bed early, making myself a basic dinner so to avoid the opportune moment to be stared at.

I tried to sleep but was instead haunted by the monster that characterised my fears and worries. I never got the rest I intended but found myself casting time spells constantly only to find mere seconds had past since I last checked.

Then when the slight sound of bird song could be heard over the houses, a sharp knock on my door announced a determined visitor.

Panic built inside me as I fruitlessly tried to prepare exactly what I was going to say to him, how I was going to explain my stupidity…

Snape stalked in, his infamous scowl across his face as he looked at me on my bed.

"Longbottom, wake up and come downstairs. We need to talk."

I sighed, caught between loathing and fear.

There was no way of telling who was downstairs and what was waiting for me.

I needn't have worried really, it was Snape alone. He was sitting in a high-backed chair which projected his as looking more intimidating and less human, along with his smothering black robes and the lack of colour across his features. But under the normal emotions of contempt and indifference, was a new member. Concern.

"Well you have always been plump Mr Longbottom but I have to say you are beginning to look more like you are carrying a child."

His rudeness astounded me slightly, I was not sure why but I had assumed that outside the four walls of his classroom he would have no notion to treat me like an idiot. Obviously he did. I probably knew why. Clearly his favourite hobby of bullying Gryffindors while convincing himself his Slytherins were innocent had not died.

"Why did you want to talk to me?" I manage, knowing that in reality I will make no comment to his blunt greeting.

"I think you know why Longbottom, you have never been the most intelligent but even you will be able to come to the correct conclusion in this instance."

I nodded.

"I just wanted to make sure it was true and of course make sure you are in good health."

Now this I was reluctant to believe, he must have read this on my face as he continued:

"Perhaps you are aware that Draco is my godson and since his parents will never have any clue of your situation, I took it upon myself to make sure you were not…lying."

His hesitation on the word "lying" did offer some comfort but the way he brashly just insulted me, claiming I was stupid enough to pretend to be pregnant. I began to wonder what I had done to earn such a low opinion in this man's mind.

"Where is Draco?" I finally braved out, my curiosity finally winning.

"He will be here tomorrow."

Tomorrow.

"Well later today…"

I turned around and walked slowly back upstairs, Snape made no effort to call me back so I assumed I was dismissed and in fairness I doubt I would have returned to him if I had been ordered to.

Draco was coming.

I had spent too many hours contemplating exactly what I would say to Draco and imaging his consequent reaction but nothing ever appeared to give him justice. Nothing resembled his mannerisms at all.

But then did I really know anything about Draco's mannerisms? Did I know anything about him besides the bare facts…

Burrowing under my covers I tried to fall asleep but the looming visit from Draco would not escape the fore front of my mind for even a second to allow the slightest hint of drowsiness to take over.

The more I attempted to sleep the harder it became and more awake I would become.

Finally, I gave up and dressed. Wearing the most loose-fitting things I owned in the hope of hiding my "condition" from Draco as long as possible. But by the sounds of my meeting with Snape he already knew…

That might give me more of a chance to explain myself, if he had already had a chance to calm down.

Downstairs no one was there except a flushed Mrs Weasley, who was beginning to prepare breakfast, her usual tactic to rouse the masses. She smiled slightly but her face had the now familiar hint of disappointment.

Perhaps she felt responsible, this happened under her watch. Not that I blamed her. It was my own fault for even daring to try and kiss that Draco night and his stupid fault for kissing back…

I made myself a few bits of toast and lightly buttered them, declining Mrs Weasleys' offer of bacon and eggs, and took my meal back to my bedroom where I intended to hide.

Draco could come and find me.

* * *

I woke a while later to gentle shaking.

His long blond hair was swept back neatly in a band at the back and there was a deep cut over his left cheek but apart from that he looked normal.

"Hi."

I wanted to reply but I couldn't.

He shrugged off his robe, tossed it to rest on top of my trunk and then climbed into the bed beside me. Subconsciously, I nestled further into his warmth, savouring the feeling of his firm, comforting body beside me before I had to completely destroy everything we had, whatever we had.

For an undetermined time, we lay there together. Our limbs tangled, my face tucked under his chin as I could avoid his granite eyes easily. Occasionally, he would kiss the top of my head.

"I need to tell you something…" I mumbled finally.

"I know."

"You know what?"

"What you are going to tell me."

"Aren't you mad?"

"Not really. Just surprised. I am honestly so sorry, I didn't ever think this would happen…"

I think everyone could agree with him on that front. More silence but the issue did not feel resolved, it still hung thickly in the air like a rank smell. There were still millions of things to say but Draco seemed content to huddle together under the blankets, ignoring the issue. But that was not going to work. I had already learned this from the bump blossoming under my jumper.

"I'm keeping it," I said suddenly, deciding to force him into saying something.

"It's your decision."

Those words I had prepared for, expected, anticipated were much more harsh in reality than I imagined previously. The syllables burned under my skin then concentrated around my developing bump. I'm not strong, independent. I'm nothing but a confused school boy who has managed to land himself in a ridiculous situation far beyond anything I ever thought would happen when I placed this kisses on his lips…

Tears prickled at the corner of my eyes and I burrowed my face deep into the pillow, hoping to smother them as I concealed my weakness from the one person I should be able to share it with.

Clearly my expectations had only been conscious and beneath the carpet, the underlay had honestly believed I would not be alone with this.

"I only have today," he said finally.

I tried to summon words, gather something together that sounded nonchalant and powerful but braving the world beyond my pillow seemed so difficult suddenly.

"Neville?" he said softly, his voice flaring inside me as I loathed it's betraying tone.

"What?" I mumbled, covering my eyes as much as possible.

"You're crying," he stated simply as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

How often did he gloat about his superior birth and intelligence? Amongst these gifts he had obviously never been given perception. Did he honestly think I wanted to do this on my own?

Like a timid child, I brushed my hand over my face to wipe away the silver tracks of tears. He took my wrist and pressed the barest of kisses on the bone.

"I need you to read this, it's important. I need to go but I will be back as soon as I can. I promise. Look after yourself," he said, leaving the sanctuary of the bed and grabbing his robe. He pulled a yellowing piece of parchment from the inside pocket and handed me it.

"Please understand that it's not just duty, I like you…A lot."

* * *

The letter was incredibly boring and detailed. It also showed the Malfoys to be as stupid as they act. Simply, Draco would be disinherited if he did not marry me…soon. In fact because he was the only Malfoy left (after his parents died which they were practically guaranteed to do after the war) the money would go straight to the ministry, leaving Draco a poor, marked Death Eater with no hope in hell of salvation.

Part of me, the weak part, delighted in this news. He could never leave me alone but the rest of me was slightly annoyed at the idea of not being an option to Draco. I was obligatory.

According to the passage from his family's "rules" if I were to give birth without marrying him, a painting located somewhere in Malfoy Manor would show my child's name exhibiting to the entire family that there was a bastard child floating around. What I did not understand would be if I did marry him, wouldn't my name appear on the portrait too? Then wouldn't they simply disinherit him for having bad taste and marrying not only a Griffyndor but the one who really should have been in Hufflepuff.

I was confused but realistically I only had two people to talk about my situation with: Snape and Draco. Neither seemed a particularly attractive option and since they were both away saving my life it seemed ridiculous to class my idiocy as a special reason for them to desert their duty.

Draco had said he would come back soon, whatever that meant and I guess I would just have to bide my time until then. And pray I did not get any bigger.

* * *

Only after four days, I woke again to Draco's body curled around mine. He had put on weight surprisingly and his arms were suddenly unyielding, more cuts littered his skin randomly and the silver lines of previous lacerations were showing over his irony skin. With his blond hair cascading over the pillow like a small stream, he looked like a fallen angel.

How easy it was to romanticise when you could pretend everything was alright, and in those sweet moments when you just have woken up and reality has not yet taken it's hold of you, it's so simple to imagine him as so special.

I don't know how long I stared at him before he began to stir but it felt like decades. His eyes fluttered open and he stretched outwards, resembling a cat after a particularly intense slumber.

"Did you read it?" he said finally.

"I did."

"Did you understand it?"

"I'm not an idiot…"

"I know but I didn't really get it first time…"

"How did you find out?"

"Snape, he knows too much about my family."

I nod. I really have nothing to say and for the first time in our feeble attempt at a relationship he is at my mercy, not the other way around.

"I know this is the most unromantic proposal you could never achieve but…I do care about you and our child. Perhaps this will work out better."

"Perhaps?"

"Neville, I honestly have no idea what to say to you except marry me please, I will do everything in my power to secure a suitable future for us…"

How could I deny him? It's plain, I couldn't and he was as well aware of this.

"Okay," I say finally.

His face brightened and his eyes sparkled as he pulled me into him and pressed soft kisses over my face. I tried not to lean into the feeling too much, still lingering on the remembrance of the real reason why he asked. Nothing to do with love or even this child, just money. Just remaining the cold, overshadowing Malfoy.

* * *

**Excuses time, I have serious computer trouble which made it impossible to work on any fan fictions. I desperately wanted to update but I couldn't.**

**I realise this is shorter than the last chapter but the wait will not be as long, I promise ^^**

**Thanks so much for reading and pwease, pwease, pwease review. It makes updates come even faster. Promise.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I am a bad person. Sorry! Anyways, here is chapter 3.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything associated.**

* * *

Chapter 3

It has been six days since he was last here and I know to expect him soon. Hermione was sitting on the edge of my bed, reading the only book we have managed to find that discusses male pregnancy. She seemed to enjoy the research possibility and I did not want to spoil it for her.

"Have you thought about it?" she said delicately.

"It?"

"The whole...birth thing."

Her face was scrunched up like the thought was painful and it was only an abstract idea for her.

"No. I still have a while."

The way she glanced at my stomach, she clearly did not agree.

He just walked in and grabbed my face, pressing my lips roughly against his while Hermione sat there, her eyes wide. Soft lips trailed down from my lips to my chin, lower to my neck while she continued to gape. I wanted to push him off until at least she was gone but this felt like proof. Now she could run to Harry, Ron, Mrs Weasley, Lupin... Finally they would understand this was not pity on Draco's part, he genuinely cared about me.

"Hermione," I murmurred as his strong hands rested on my waist.

Pulling away he spied Hermione and laughed breathlessly. She stood up with a slight nod and slid out of the door like a guilty party.

"Oops. You could have said something," he laughed, nudging me in the side.

"I did."

Reaching into the pocket of his robe, he handed me a small black box. He was blushing, nervous. Still not what I wanted but more than I expected. It was heavy and too flashy for my taste but it symbolised something more important, it showed I would have a family, be part of one.

"Its too big."

He placed it over my finger and resized it.

"I know it is not pretty but it's a family thing, once we are married I will buy you a prettier one, one you want."

I smile, only slightly forced. His hand settles over my cheek, he knows I am not being truthful but he also knows this is not going to be easy.

* * *

The wedding, if you can call it that, was strange.

He wore torn robes and there was a stain of dried blood on the knee of his slacks. The jumper I wore belonged to some distant, dead Weasley family member as it was the only thing anyone owned that would fit over my ever expanding bump.

Once the ceremony part was over, he took my face in his hands like he always did and kissed me.

"Take care of yourself," he said softly, his hand skimming over my bump as he left with Snape whose hand was pressed across the small of his back.

* * *

Hermione quickly became the only person who I could talk to. She sat once again on the end of my bed, book open in her arms but she was not reading, she was watching me.

"How do you think you would feel if that was your marriage?" I said finally.

"I don't know Neville. I am not in your position."

"Yeah, you would never be stupid enough to get into this position."

"Neville, to be fair you no one ever thought this would happen."

I sigh and lie across Draco's bed, pulling his pillow over my face while I try to seek his smell. She stands up and I can hear the pad of her feet across the floor that remind me so desperately of Draco and when her hand lands on my shoulder I can almost feel his touch rather than hers.

"It will be okay."

"You should like Draco."

"Well clearly for once Malfoy knows what he is talking about."

I laugh, loudly and she falls into unison with me.

* * *

It happens early in the morning. Pain shoots through me and I walk down the corridor.

"Hermione! Help me," I cry in the hall.

She runs out, dragging her dressing gown on as she grips onto my shoulder and shouts for Mrs Weasley.

* * *

Really it was a blur of pain and movement and cries and screams. The only thing I can remember clearly is the look of horror smeared across Hermione's face.

When I wake up Draco is here, face completely exhausted but he is smiling, wider than I ever thought possible. He's holding the baby naturally, as though as has done this before which causes a jolt of jealousy to shoot through me.

"Hey," he whispers, reaching his spare hand out to touch mine.

I smile and try to sit up only for more pain to cause my arms to buckle.

"Watch yourself," he says, his voice still soft but the baby does not stir. "Do you remember much?"

I shake my head slightly.

"Well Granger saw more than I did, she threw up. I have to admit I was proud of you," he is smiling while he speaks, laughing and the slight movement in his chest causes the child to wriggle, its mouth opens.

I blush.

"Well I am guessing you want to hold him."

"Not yet," I say.

"He is exceptionally lovely. I am so proud of you."

"You contributed too."

It has perfect little finger nails and a wispy covering of white blond hair.

"What would you like to call him?"

"You choose."

Draco sighs and places the baby delicately in the cot beside me, like the poor thing would explode at any second. Then his hands, clean but covered in cuts took hold of my face. His soft chapped lips pressed wet kisses between my eyes. Warmth hits me.

But I need to spoil it...

"When do you have to leave?"

He sighs heavily, like he is in pain.

"Soon..."

"Spend a little time with the baby then."

I am testing him, why am I testing him?

Carefully I watch his movements, his hand cups mine and he squeezes softly.

"You need sleep lovely," he says gently, another soft kiss on my forehead.

He steps away, scoops the baby up and pulls it into his chest. I wonder if I really should be feeling such jealousy.

* * *

All the people who ignored me during the entirity of my pregnancy were now suddenly obsessed with the baby. Hermione, clearly having moved on from her initial shock, was completely enamored and Ron and Harry appeared to enjoy boucning it on their knee. Mrs Weasley adored it, knitted it clothes and helped me with food.

But I could not enjoy it.

It seemed as though it was a perfect angel with everyone else but when we were alone it was completely different. It would cry and scream and just make a mess. And Draco was only ever interested in it, never me.

"He's getting so big!" he exclaimed as he picked it up and pressed a soft kiss on its forehead.

I nod, folding its tiny clothes.

"You okay?" he said softly, the arm not support it, snaking around my waist.

"Busy," I said gruffly, pulling away.

He sighs again and plays with the child. I burn with envy.

It is the first time Draco has been able to stay over night since it was born and that was nearly six months ago. For once in its small life it settled easily, of course that would be the loving hands of his father, instead of mine which seemed to revolt him so much.

Draco undresses and slips into the single bed beside me, his warm arms looping around me and pulling me close. The comfort of his breath and the feel of his body comforted me beyond anything I had felt since it had been conceived.

"Laurence is doing so well, you're really very good at this."

I start as though I have been struck, the small amount of time we have to be us and he wants to talk about the child!

"Not as much as everyone else..."

"Don't say that, you know its true. No point in being modest about it," he said softly, his hand stroking softly over my flat stomach.

"How is the war going?"

He sighs.

"I do not want to talk about that in the only time I get with Laurence and you."

"I do not want to talk about the baby in the only thing I get with you!" I snap.

I didn't mean to say it but he pulls back and steps out of the bed. I am shaking, I am terrified. Then the shrill cry breaks though the tense silence. But Draco does not move towards him like I expect, he is waiting for me.

He kneels beside me, his hand lying across my cheek.

"Go to him, he's your son and he loves you."

He does not love me, he loves you and everyone else in this bloody house but not me. I don't say this aloud, I step out of bed. Every step ringing throughout my head until I stop beside the cot, its squirming and crying, its tiny hands clutchd into fists. Slowly, I lean over and scoop him out, press him against my chest. He stills, he silences. Then his tiny fists grabs out for me, I let him clutch my finger. Strong arms around my waist signal Draco joining us, his head on my shoulder as he watches Laurence settle.

"I love you."

It takes me a while to realise I said it, I said it to Laurence.

I can feel Draco smile behind me as his chin moves. I lean forward and places Laurence down gently, he rolls onto his side and the little fist rests on his cheek. I cannot believe anything could be so perfect, so small... Is this how everyone else feels when they see him?

"Come back to bed, I promise you he will be there tomorrow morning."

"Not if Mrs Weasley or Hermione or Harry or Lupin have their way."

Draco laughs and pulls back the duvet in invitation. I slip into bed with him and pull him close, my lips sealing on his while we kiss softly then less softly...

* * *

**Thanks for your paitence. Please review ^^ And I hope you enjoyed it.**


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